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Haven't been in good spirits lately

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Hey guys, title is what it says. Right now, summer is nearly coming to a close, and there's a lot I gotta deal with irl beside both 101 games I play. I'm prob kinda under a minor depression, but I tried to move on as best as I can. Well, firstly, I've been entering contests for W101 to get the Night Garden Arcane house since my family (just like plenty of others out there) cannot afford to fork over $120 to get that house. My luck has been run dry. I haven't been successful in obtaining a code for such a valuable house, although I did get a minor prize in a Paige Moonshade contest. Yes, "at least that's something!" Still, although I am grateful, I am still honestly envious at other people's success. Behind the screen, I'd prob vent out my stress in a frenzy (privately) as a way for me to get the feelings outta my system. I have no family support for me playing Kingsisle's games, so I only get moral support by the friends I get closer to. What bout irl friends? None of them are online gamers who could relate to me. Thus, I constantly think that my efforts were all for nothing, and that thought has been hard to get out of my head. For every contest I lose, that thought just gets stronger and stronger. (Sometimes, I end up crying but hardly anyone will care.) I end up just turning sadness into anger to give me energy to finish questing with the 2 months of my sub i got left, but even I now harboring such an energy is not gonna have a good effect on my friends.

Another part of me being "down in the dumps" is probably the pressure of my last year in school. I graduate next year as part of the Class of 2015, and I gotta start filling out papers to good list of colleges I find pretty suitable enough to my future studies. It's natural to be upset at the final working process of getting accepted, but that's not what's bothering me. In fact, this leads to something I consider a personal issue I haven't resolved yet.

Just like plenty of teens in America, I'm held back. I had to repeat 4th grade due to circumstantial issues in the transcripts and stuff. Although I enjoyed my time in a new Catholic school environment after finishing the public school system back in PreK-4, I haven't been in touch with much of my old friends. I may have had trauma due to the bad memories I've had in the past when I was a nuisance as a kid, I do cherish what little good memories I've had with those classmates. Thus, I feel bad for not being a part of the Class of 2014 as I should be. With only Facebook as my liable source of contact, I tried to get back in touch with around 4-5 classmates who I considered to be close friends. But, one by one, they block me, even on Twitter and Instagram. I'm just bewildered and aghast by such an action. I tried laughing it off, but others may perceive me to be insane. So for now, I just make do with whatever new friends I've made because at least they're still good people. Additionally, I quit using Facebook messaging and Twitter replies and DM's to talk to my graduated classmates 'cause they may end up blocking me, too. But I'm also doing it for the sake of staying on good terms with someone I wanna award, but that's another story for another day.

If you did have a chance to finish reading all this, thank you. Be grateful for the happier life you have than me, and be sure to exude the joy onto others as well.

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